Dubai Restaurants

This is a salute to the army of cooks at Shake Shack in Dubai; to the troops of waiters at the Cheesecake Factory; to the happy, singing squad at FatBurger… When you’ve invested in bringing a franchise all the way to the desert, it only makes sense that you staff it.

We went to CaliBurger today for our Kawkable Saturday lunch with the peasants and baby Jude… and… well.. ok, let me do this the loving Tante way, starting with the positive. The burgers aren’t bad. They come close to Shake Shack and FatBurger. The buns have a good balance between savoury and sweet, the beef is juicy and the sauce is tasty. My favorite burgers remain New York’s Burger Joint (open in Dubai and in need of an upcoming review) and the West Coast’s In-N-Out. The fries tasted like potato, and I suspect they weren’t frozen. Nothing tasted weird except the awful chocolate milkshake I decided to try.

So CaliBurgers are good, but there’s a catch. Joining the Dubai burger scene late, and in the same neighbourhood as FatBurger and Elevation Burger, the minds behind CaliBurger needed a unique selling proposition. Their competitive edge is that they offer the “Slowest Fast Food in Town”, and boy do they deliver on this promise. It really is as slow as fast food can go. The first strategy they implemented was introducing two lines – “Order Here” and “Pick Up” with two cash registers for “Order Here”. Then, they wisely staffed all three with one person. The second strategy was to train this individual in Selective Attention Techniques. For some of our peasants, their order never came, because it was never processed. Others had to wait as the orders of those behind them in line were prioritised. Kawkab, on the other hand, had to wait for a few minutes to watch the cash register get reconciled before giving the order. The place was full, and there were several people complaining about their order being late, but then I heard an honest cashier explain to walk-in customers that there is a 40 minute waiting time.

40 Minutes? For a burger? No ya mama. Your burgers might taste good, but would Kawkab open a Man2oushe place next to other Mana2eesh places with a special 40 minute waiting time? What is it you said? A burger is different than a Man2oushe? You mean to insinuate that burgers are better than mana2eesh? You know you’re starting to get on my nerves now, don’t you? Oh I misheard… Ok.. I’m glad you didn’t.

6 people to run the place isn’t enough darlings, so go back to Cali… w ana rej3a 3al jali…..

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